Reign of Fire – The Sparky Decision

(Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale unavailable for comment.)

This was not something I thought I would have an opinion on, at all, let alone thought about vocalizing.

As per bastion of legitimate news and world events, the New York Times, the New York Islanders do not know what will happen to lovable mascot Sparky the Dragon in a post-Uniondale world. Let’s pause to recognize that The Gray Lady sent someone to cover the Islanders’ mascot dilemma. Yes, it happened. Didn’t NYT pull their Knicks beat writer? Anyway…

There are two schools of thought within me over this development. The first being anything and everything Charles B Wang needs to be thrown into the Atlantic. What lunatic buys an arena football team, changes the team name to fit his own cultural and geographic heritage, then applies it across the board to his other sporting interests, with an absolute lack of logic? Charles B Wang. If it was his idea, hate it and burn it.

The other side is centered around the Dad and Mrs. Lovejoy parts of the brain (and if you think you’ve seen that comparison before, you have, because I recycle my material to death). Won’t someone think of the children? Mascots are for kids and to take the edge off an otherwise rough environment. Mascots are integral to community outreach. When NYT uses quotes from a 7 year old, you melt. Noah wants his dragon friend!

And to just be around for silly photo-ops. My 6 month old son found Sparky to be rather blasé and inoffensive when faced with impending consumption, because anthropomorphic dragons are cute. Hooray for that.

As we speak there is a surging movement to bring Sparky to Brooklyn.

Godspeed.

What’s missing here is why this non-story is a Real Story. The Islanders are on the cusp of a playoff berth and have the tools to put a hurting on the postseason. In a GOOD way. An article about dragon habitat is a subtle hint that things are positive in and around the team.

Isles to the playoffs, the dragon moves to BK. Neither of these things hurt people.

Onward.