Olegstradamus – The Autumnal Equinox Quatrains

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Fall fires burning neath black twisted boughs, mixing with the last life of a smoldering Lucky Strike.

Cast your eyes into this haze and see the future!

(One should never miss an opportunity to use Type O Negative lyrics)

1. The Montreal Captainless address the issue of accepting the Stanley Cup as a group, like the Rangers were projected to do, but with stark contrast. Said GM Marc Bergevin, “If PK doesn’t hog the limelight and take the Cup from Markov, then he’s just as selfish at being selfish as we thought.”

2. Antti Niemi slips on a banana peel. Jonathan Bernier falls down a well with no collie in sight. Jonas Hiller accidentally walks onto the set of the remake of a Hitchcock classic. Marin Brodeur questioned over the theft of ACME products in San Jose, Toronto, and Calgary. A contract signed “X” is found in his pocket.

3. Josh Bailey will be traded for, you guessed it…Frank Stallone.

4. Prior to the Winter Classic, the Washington Capitals trade Mike Green to the Washington Nationals for Jayson Werth. While Werth brings the defensive stability the Caps need, Green mishandles the first fly ball to right and Jose Cansecos a home run.

5. Keeping on the Winter Classic, the Chicago Blackhawks will wear the jersey of Patrick Kane’s beer league team as they are out of throwbacks.

6. Never fear, hope is on the way. With the first pick in the 2032 NHL Entry Draft, the New York Islanders are proud to select from the Vancouver Giants of the Western Hockey League, defenseman…

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